Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
