sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Girls should come with a carfax report
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
