mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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