While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Enjoy the penises
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize