mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
