How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
