Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
