It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
that may or may not have been my penis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
