she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
