why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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