He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
