fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
