Sry I called you an 8
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
