some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
