i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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