That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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