she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
