guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
