I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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