nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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