Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
