He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
