Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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