yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
