Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
