I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
