I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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