fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
