Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
