Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
