margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
