In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
