I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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