Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
