My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.