Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?