you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.