I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
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girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?