I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
