It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was like eating out sand paper
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize