In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am mentally ready for anal.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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