When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
