if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
