thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
