Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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