I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
