No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
