Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
