so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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