I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
