it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
