I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
