what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
