If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
