we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
