Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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