is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
