marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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