Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
